Category: Health News
Created: 9/22/2008
Last Editorial Review: 9/22/2008
Restless Med Syndrome
So now, if I take the medication advertised, I will likely experience the side effects, and would probably have rather just suffered from the initial condition to begin with. If I take the medication and suffer the side effects, do I then have to take a variety of other medications to treat the side effects? I know one thing for sure. The big pharmaceutical companies are hoping for the latter. I simply want that second date, thank you IBS. My final question is, why am I the one being advertised to in regards to medication in the first place? I am simply a guy trying to watch my favorite reality show when a commercial kicks in asking me how many times I run to the bathroom and how many hours of sleep I get (questions which incidentally cause me anxiety, another condition I am being treated for with a series of medications). I mean, am I the most qualified to decide if my legs are restless, my bowel irritable, or my erection dysfunctional (okay, maybe that last one I am the most qualified). But isn't this why I go to my doctor?
Finally, which conditions are literally created by clever marketing executives at the pharmaceutical companies, and do not actually exist, but are designed not only to make us believe that a) they are indeed real and possibly life threatening, b) it is likely that you are suffering from it right now, as you read this article, and c) we should be funneling down a variety of expensive pills to treat said symptom(s)? These questions are great cause for concern, both for our pocketbooks as well as our livers. However, I will agree with the pharmaceutical companies on one thing: when I am on a date at a nice Italian Restaurant, and I suddenly am overcome with a terrible case of irritable bowel syndrome, this is usually followed by an equally terrible case of erectile dysfunction as well. But the reality is, this is usually because my date asks to be dropped off early, and a potential romantic rendezvous is awkwardly cut short. Yet, once I am home and have relieved myself, all systems are a go, and I feel healthy, youthful, and completely alone with nothing but fourteen bottles of pills and a Mucinex commercial telling me not to blow my nose, but to take a pill that will eradicate the mucus all together. If only there was a pill for a second date. If you have chosen to believe, consciously or subconsciously, in any or all of the conditions we hear about in commercials or read about in magazine advertisements, and therefore you medicate yourself accordingly, I truly hope that you catch the thirty seconds or so of potential side effects at the end of these commercials. "This medication may cause dry mouth, soreness, diarrhea, irritability, insomnia, and possibly death". Are you kidding me?
The one thing these commercials are successful in having me believe is that I am in fact, dying. There are many different ways to look at life. Rabbis and Priests and Imams and Tom Cruise all have advice on how to look at life. Me, I am a pessimist, and/or Jewish. My belief is that, ever since the day we are all born, we are on the path to dying, or have begun to die. For some, death may be a slow process, and this person shall live a nice, long, healthy one-hundred years or so. Others are not so fortunate. However, the one thing I have vowed not to do is live my life as though I am dying, even though science and my diminishing brain cells tell me otherwise. In simple terms, I want to live as though I am living.
Let me first say that I believe the advancements in medical science have produced life-saving and/or life-altering medications that have enhanced the lives of most, if not all of us, and we should continue to fund scientific research and studies in the field of medical science. If prescribed by your doctor and taken appropriately, many of us have found various medications to help us get through the day, overcome ailments, and possibly eradicate a disease one may be suffering from. However, when economics become interwoven with health and wellness, my legs become, well, extremely restless. Let's stop and think about Restless Leg Syndrome. Does such a syndrome even exist? Does it exist if a little yellow cartoon character on TV tells me so? Is it a serious condition if I put Restless Leg Syndrome in all caps? And, if it is a real syndrome, can it not simply be cured by say, I don't know, getting off the damn couch and taking a, ready for this... walk? It is a fact that the pharmaceutical industry is a multi-billion dollar economic system in the United States, and the lobbyists that come with it are some of the most powerful in our country, second to maybe the one thing we are terribly addicted to: oil.
Now, I am no expert in economics, but I am certain the pharmaceutical companies would like us to also be addicted to their pharmaceuticals. If we could Lexipro or Viagra in our cars instead of oil, than all the better. And this is where a major problem in our society lies. Where is the line between the medications we need, and the medications we are being sold on and really can live without, that only serve to enable Pfizer and Merck to line their pockets? We need to figure this out, lest I get stressed and need another prescription for Xanax. Just turn on the TV, or check your spam folder in your email inbox, or flip through any magazine on the newsstand, and you will be told through various advertisements that you not only are "suffering" from restless leg syndrome, but a variety of allergies, toe-nail fungus, depression, repression, obsession, A.D.D., A.D. H.D., overactive bladder, irritable bowel syndrome, inflamed prostate, and erectile dysfunction, just to name a few. My questions, and maybe yours as well, are as follows: Which conditions are real and need to be treated with medication? Which conditions are real and do not require medication, but can be cured by leaving your house, exercising, walking in the park, or getting a girlfriend (erectile dysfunction, or are you just single)?
It makes little sense to me as to why the pharmaceutical companies skip the doctor and advertise directly to the consumer as though I have completed medical school, an externship, residency at Cedar Sinai Hospital, and have been practicing medicine for years. Hell, I'm not even a production assistant on Grey's Anatomy, though I do know where to score Marijuana, which, incidentally, has little side effects except for paranoia and hours of TV watching, and again, likely no date. In conclusion, thinking about all of this has reminded me yet again what I already know: we are all dying. However, why can't Pfizer and Watson and Merck just let me live? I urge everyone to think twice and consult your doctor before taking anything, because side effects lead to more medication, which leads to more side effects and therefore more medication, and so on and so forth, like the snake eating its tail. You know what, thinking about all of this has given me a headache. I will have to end this now, take a couple Tylenol, drop a Mucinex to stop the sniffles, and pop a Viagra just in case I am able to score that second date.
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